Vita Mutationes - Life Changes
by Shbenj
Summary: Life changes, and so too must people change with it. A story of how James finally won the heart of Lily Evans, and the bumps along the way. This is a complete rewrite of my old story by the same name. Possible mature themes later, hence the rating. LJ ROC SOC


**A/N: Sorry for starting off with an Author's Note, but I just need to say a few things. Firstly, welcome back to any of you who ready the previous incarnation of this story, I'm hoping this one will be a lot better. Secondly, this chapter is as of yet unedited/beta'd. Once it has been (it currently is being), I will re-upload it, so please bare with me. At the same time, feel free to point out any mistakes I've made (it's been a long time since I've written anything). So, without further ado...**

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This story remains dedicated to my friend Cam for the support she offered in both this retelling and the original,

my friend and beta Crystal for (currently in the process of) fixing my many mistakes in both this retelling and the original,

my friend Nura for allowing me to use her name and likeness in both this retelling and the original (even though I don't think she's actually aware of it),

and is newly dedicated to my fiancée Bronwyn, for supporting me in all I do.

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**Life Changes**

**Chapter 1**

_"It takes a lot of courage to grow up and become who you really are" - E E Cummings_

_"When we were children, we used to think that when we were grown-up we would no longer be vulnerable. But to grow up is to accept vulnerability... To be alive is to be vulnerable." -Madeleine L'Engle_

Wind rushed by him as he soared, tearing through his hair and screaming past his ears. Around him flashed streaks of colour, scarlet and blue, unfocused due to the shattered glasses that hung off his face. The bludger which had smashed his lenses was also responsible for the blood streaming freely from his nose.

Dodging another two blue blurs, James Potter angled his broom upwards to where he knew the goal hoops to be and pressed himself flat against his broomstick, urging as much speed as he could from his prized possession. In the back of his mind he registered the games commentary.

"Sheidaee and Longbottom are neck and neck, and it looks like the game will be decided by the snitch. Ravenclaw with an impressive lead, the Gryffindors need this snitch to tie, or face their biggest loss in recent memory!"

5th year Hufflepuff Gregory Abbott's voice was nearly drowned out by the differing cries of the spectators around the pitch; desperation from the Gryffindors, elation from the Ravenclaws, enthusiasm from the Hufflepuffs and jeers from the Slytherins.

James pushed as much of the noise out of his mind as he could and focussed his attention back to the goals. One of their beaters Terrance McMillan, a 7th year with more ego than brains, had gotten himself knocked out five minutes into the game and the Gryffindor team had been taken a savage beating for the rest of the game, both on the scoreboard and on the pitch. Now the goals were in sight, the quaffle in his hands, and James was determined to finish the season with a win.

"Both seekers are inches away from the snitch! Sheidaee is just in front! The crowd is going crazy, and it looks like we are set for a draw for the last game of the – WAIT, LOOK AT POTTER! I DON'T BELIEVE IT!"

At that moment, the Ravenclaw keeper had swerved in front of James, and with no time to swerve, dodge, or even think, he did the first thing that came to his mind. Later he would wonder just how hard that bludger had hit his head to make him do what he did.

He jumped.

"POTTER HAS JUMPED OFF HIS BROOM! Off his broom and right over keeper Boot! He throws the quaffle..." Almost in slow motion James watched the red ball fly through the air. "HE SCORES! Just as Sheidaee catches the snitch, Potter scores by jumping from his broom at 50 feet. GRYFFINDOR WIN!"

James was laughing and hanging off the very same goal hoop he had put the quaffle through, trying to pull himself up. A blue blue hovered in front of him, her voice revealing it was Susan Boot, the keeper.

"Potter, you are completely insane. Wait, here." She grabbed his wrist and pulled him up so he was sitting in the ring. "Honestly, completely nuts! What were you thinking?"

James laughed again and tried to wipe the blood off his face. "I wasn't! I just wanted to score. I reckon I'm going to cop it from McGonagall for that though." He rubbed his hands over his nose, which had stopped bleeding, knowing he's have to push it back into its proper shape for it to heal properly.

"I'd be more worried about copping it from Sheidaee if I were you, because here she comes. Now, hold still. _Episkey._" James swore as the cartilage set itself. "That's for making me lose my last quidditch match at Hogwarts," she said lightly. Then she too laughed and held out her hand. "Thank you for making it a memorable one."

As James shook her hand, Sirius' voice boomed out towards them. "Prongs, mate, that was incredible." He was flying up to them, carrying James' broomstick in his spare hand.

"Don't you dare encourage him, Sirius!" said Nura Sheidaee, pale with shock. "How could you do something so stupid James? What were you thinking?"

"He wasn't," said Sirius and Susan, just as James opened his mouth to admit to the same thing. The three of them looked at each other and laughed as Nura shook her head in disbelief.

"You might want to take him to the hospital wing to make sure his nose is alright," continued Susan. "While your there, you should get his head checked out too."

"Come on Prongs, lets go down and meet your adoring fans." Around the pitch Gryffindors has gathered to cheer on their team. And in the middle of the crows was a furious McGonagall. "on second thought, it might be safer up here."

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The Gryffindor common room was almost shaking with the sound of the celebration taking place within it, and the quidditch team were in the midst of it. After the third straight hour of having his back slapped and hand shook, James was beginning to feel claustrophobic. Sending a look to Sirius (which was received with a small nod) he thanked the people around him still offering their congratulations and surreptitiously raised his hands to cover his ears.

Several loud cracks echoed throughout the common room, followed by shrieks and then laughter as Sirius let of the bunch of Filllibusters fireworks he always seemed to have in his pocket. Using the distraction, James slipped from the common room and out onto the balcony, enjoying the feel of the cool evening breeze blowing gently against his face.

Leaning against the railing and breathing deeply, he sighed and emptied his mind, focussing on the scents he could smell on the air. The old stone of the castle, embedded with another smell he couldn't describe, but knew to be the magic that had filled the walls throughout the ages. The air itself smelt fresh and thick, laden with the promise of rain soon. The deep smell of earth and wood from the forest, which made his heart yearn to run in stag form. And then something floral, a scent he could recognise even in his dreams.

"Alright there, Evans?" he spoke, somewhat hesitantly. James hadn't spoken much to Lily throughout the school year, preferring to avoid her and the painful lurch in his stomach that accompanied her. The few times they had spoken, he'd made a point to keep the conversation light hearted and shallow. He thought it was the best way to avoid arguments, after all what could they fight about if they spoke of practically nothing of all? It had worked to varying degrees of success.

"Potter, what are you doing out here?" came the reply from the bench behind him. Her tone was short, mingled with a bit of surprise at seeing him. He sighed internally, his shoulders unconsciously dropping a little. Lily Evans hated surprises, especially when it came to him. He had a silly thought that he could also smell a fight brewing.

"Just getting some fresh air," he muttered. Thinking about leaving before anything else could be said, he ruffled the hair on the back of his nervously before stopping and giving a small wince. For some reason that particular habit of his always seemed to annoy her, and an irritated huff told him he war right.

"Couldn't leave well enough alone, could you?" he heard her mutter under her breath. It was apparent she didn't expect him to hear her, most students wouldn't have, but being an animagus had a lot of advantages.

"Excuse me? What was well enough?" He turned to face her. The look of surprise on her face was quickly replaced with the irritation he was so used to.

The games. A draw. Anyone would agree the drawing with the top team whilst down a player is a pretty impressive feat. But that's not good enough for James Potter. Not enough glory in a draw. So you have to jump off your broomstick, put your life in danger, for a bit of adoration." She jerked her head at the door back to the common room, where the celebration was still easily audible.

"Glory?" he asked, irritated as well now. "You think I did it for glory?"

"Of course you did it for glory. You can't live without being the centre of attention. Why else would you jump off a broom to win a match that made no difference? Ravenclaw still win the cup"

"I didn't even win the match," he cried, throwing his hands up in the air, "Nura did, she caught the snitch!"

"And yet you get all the credit. How do you think that makes her feel?"

"She doesn't care!"

"What would you know?" snorted Lily.

"A lot more than you, since I've known her since I was five years old," said James viciously. He was getting really angry now. How dare she try to tell him his reasoning behind his actions. He didn't know them himself, not really, but he knew her accusations were wrong. "Nura knows I didn't do it for glory. She actually knows me, unlike you, who just wants to assume the worst of me."

"Why did you do it then?"

"Merlin, I don't know! I just did! Do you _really _think that if I had thought it through, I would have done it? I'm not a moron."

"Not a moron? HA! Says the guy who jumped off a flying broom, and blames it on not thinking! But that's just like you, isn't it Potter? Acting without thinking, Such a big head, and no brains to fill it. Once you leave school you might actually have to think once in a while, you know that? Next year is our last year at Hogwarts and then we'll be out there. Do you even understand what's happening out there in the real world? How can you take nothing seriously when-"

At that James exploded, cutting her off. "I know damn well what's happening out there, Evans!" He roared, eyes flashing his rage. "I know the danger, the fear, the death! I know what's going on, I know it's waiting for us, and it scares the fuck out of me!" He paused, panting, and lowered his voice, fists clenched in an effort to control himself. "That's why I can't- no, won't take our life here too seriously. There are our very last moments of carefree fun, and I am determined to enjoy them, and to help the people around me enjoy them too. Because someday, soon, that danger is going to be a constant factor in our lives."

They both remained silent for a bit, then Lily got to her feet and headed towards the door. Just before stepping inside, she paused. The commotion from inside nearly obscured her quiet voice. "You need to grow up Potter." The door clicked shut behind her, and the noise became muffled again.

He sighed for what felt like the millionth time that night, turned back to the railing and closed his eyes. Breathing deeply, he tried to clear his mind again, but the floral scent lingered and teased him. Another burst of noise told him that the door had opened and shut again, and he felt the presence of someone else step up beside him.

"She's right, you know," said Nura Sheidaee's soft voice. He didn't ask her how she knew what he and Lily had been discussing, some how Nura had always just know what he was feeling. "You are going to have to grow up someday."

"I know. And something tells me it will be some day soon too. Something bad is coming Nura... So, yeah, I know..." he paused, enjoying the quiet for a moment longer, then pulled a grin onto his face. "But not yet, Nunu." He laughed at the face she pulled at his childhood nickname for her, and nudged her. "Shall we go back inside?"

Nura nodded, and together they returned to the party.

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"So you'll be staying- ugh!- over for the last week of the- euurgh!- holidays then? Promise?" Nura rolled her eyes and hid her smile as she watched Lily try to pull her trunk down from the overhead storage and maintain a conversation at the same time. The Hogwarts Express had just pulled into King's Cross station, and chaos had taken over the train as all the students on board were trying to disembark at the same time, eager to start their holidays.

"Yes, I'll come over with Claire and Alice," said Nura, referencing their two friends who had already managed to get off the train. Both had been missing their families, as they had stayed at Hogwarts over the Christmas holidays, so Nura had told them to go while she waited with Lily. Stepping aside as the trunk crashed to the ground, she continued, "I've already settled it with my parents, you don't need to worry."

"Ok, ok, I'll stop worrying. I just miss you all over summer, it will be nice to see you." Together the girls made their way off the train and over to the spot where the Evan's family was standing. Warmly they welcomed both girls, and asked about their time at school. They were chatting about classes when a voice shouted across the station.

"Nura, come on! Let's go!" It was Sirius, who was standing with James, his parents, and her father. The adults were talking to each other as James listened, leaving Sirius standing there pouting, obviously bored.

Nura registered the odd look on Lily's face as she looked over at the two boys. James had not spoken to her in over a month since their argument after the quidditch match, and Nura knew her friend was torn between feeling relief, irritation, regret and a bit of guilt. Her father Richard didn't notice his daughters reaction though, and he laughed aloud at the call.

"It sounds as though we are keeping you," he said, grinning at Nura. "And we'd best be off as well. I trust we'll be seeing you Lily's birthday then?" Nura smiled and nodded, nudging Lily to bring her attention back to her immediate surroundings.

"Yes, thank you Mr. and Mrs. Evans. I'm looking forward too it."

"Now Nura dear, how many times do we have to tell you to call us Richard and Bron?" said Lily's mother, her eyes still flicking between her daughter and James across the station curiously. She had noticed Lily's reaction as well. "Have a good summer, we'll see you soon."

"Bye Nura!" said Lily, hugging her friend. As their family left, Nura made her way over to where her father, Sirius and the Potter's were standing, where she hugged her father, then Harold and Gwyneth Potter in turn.

"About time," said Sirius. She poked him, and James laughed. "Come over and play quidditch tomorrow? Deidre misses you." Deidre was James' younger sister.

"I will, as soon as I unpack. And I'll see her tonight. At dinner?" She prompted, seeing the boys confused expressions. The first night they returned from school, ever since first year, their families would have dinner together and catch up on the years activities.

"Oh yeah... Excellent, I'm starving!" exclaimed Sirius.

"Good to hear, because Seruh has been cooking all afternoon," said Gwyneth. Seruh was Nura's mother, and a brilliant cook. "Come on, we should all be helping her." Together their families left the platform, and said their goodbyes.

"See you tonight," said Nura to her oldest friend. He smiled and waved, but his eyes flicked away for a second. As Nura left the station, the last thing she saw was James watching a girl with long red hair climb into a car with her parents. And inwardly, she both sighed and smiled to herself and the feeling that was radiating off him.

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**So that is the currently unbeta'd chapter 1. Please review, tell me what you really think, honest opinions are very welcome,**

**Shbenj~**


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